Oh come on, man! Are you kidding me? Is this who you think is going to answer your ad…?
If you actually believe some 19 year old Auburn coed is sitting in her dorm lurking CL for an older man to cuddle with, you must be smoking some good shit, my friend. And I’m not talking about that raggedy reggie your broke ass buddy smokes either. We all enjoyed reading your half ass attempt to validate the need for physical contact, but it’s pretty obvious you’re full of shit.
Clever ruse, but we’re not buying it.
If, for some insane reason, you do get a response, it’ll most likely be from a handsome gal who bears a frightening resemblance to a young Jackie Gleason and has a history of stalking any man who pays attention to her. Good luck getting rid of that one. I’d think twice before going through with this brilliant plan if I were you. Let’s re-think this strategy and try again.
Oh, and one more thing… consider your man card officially revoked for using the phrase “snuggle time”, you dazzling daisy.