Hey, man! I definitely have drugs for sell if you are interested. I know a cop who is dirty and he gets some really good marijuana out of the evidence room and sells it cheap. I can get you a good deal for a big bag of the stuff and will even let you try it before you decide to buy. Personally, I hate cops and I think they are all pigs, but the guy has connections, so I have to deal with him. If he ever turns on me, I will not hesitate to bust a cap in his ass. You know what I mean, gangster?
Here’s how this is going to work. You tell me how much drugs you want to purchase and be very specific about exactly what you want. Reply to this email with your name and cell phone number so we can discuss specific details. I usually make these deals at the Motel 6 on I35 near E Oltorf. I will text you with the room number and give you a specific time to be there. Please do not show up early or late. If I tell you to be there at 7 PM, you must show up at that exact time. I will let you know how much I am selling the drugs for and you must have that exact amount of cash on your person when you arrive at the designated spot. Please don’t be nervous if you see some cars in the parking lot that resemble police vehicles. It is not unusual to notice multiple Crown Victorias in the parking lot at this particular motel. Again… Please do not be alarmed. Calmly walk to the door with your hands out of your pockets and knock three times. That will be our secret code so I know you are cool.
If you have any other buddies in your hood that would like to buy, please send them my way. I can get good weed, cocaine, ecstasy, and meth. I might be able to score some heroin too, but you have to give me time for that. Just let me know.
Email me back soon. I’d like to make this deal before the end of the month. Be cool, my friend.
Not a cop
***I’m a big believer in giving credit where credit is due. I recently came across a twitter profile of a guy who calls himself Not a Cop and I literally laughed my ass off when I read it. The guy is hilarious! His profile is the inspiration for the post you just read. In case you are wondering, yes… I really did send this to the guy who posted the CL ad (minus the “undercover” pic). We’ll see if he writes us back.