Nice, Firm Body

Hot Little Blond

His Version:

“Now here’s a chick I could settle down with”, he thinks to himself as he spots her in the electronics section looking at the TV’s with another girl who appears to be slightly younger. He can’t help but take notice of her nice, firm body. That’s what he looks for in a younger woman. Really, the blond hair is what did it for him.

He stands there for a few seconds pretending to look at DVDs while he secretly gazes at her glorious pale skin.

He decides it’s probably best he just leave her be and get over to the groceries section on the other side of the store. She’s too young for an older guy like him, anyway. Since he turned 45, he’s started to feel a little self-conscious about talking to a girl that young, but, of course, he’ll try if given the opportunity.

He makes his way to the beer aisle and grabs a case of Coors Light and then continues down to the frozen food section to find tonight’s dinner. “Another fantastic Thursday evening”, he says under his breath while he stares blankly at the TV dinners and all the choices in front of him. “Fried chicken. Meatloaf. Lasagna!”

He opens the glass door and reaches up to the Stouffer’s shelf when she, once again, catches his eye. She’s standing by the women’s bathroom apparently watching the cart while she waits for her friend. He smiles and thinks “here’s my chance”.

Swiftly, he moves to catch up with her, making it through the self-checkout station in record time. He races towards the Eye Center and gets right up behind the two ladies as they walk out of the north entrance and into the parking lot

Her voice is so soft and gentle. She smiles and says something about her sister buying a TV with a gift card she got for Christmas. He wants to say something witty, but he keeps it casual as he walks between the two women until they drift off towards a red VW Beetle.

He looks back as she gets into her car and drives off into the night.

“Where the hell did I park?”

Her Version:

The last thing she wanted to do on a Thursday evening was take her unappreciative little sister to Wal-Mart when she has so much going on this week. She wished she could just say “no”, but it was part of the deal she made with their father the day he bought her that ’03 VW Beetle. On the morning of her 17th birthday (a mere four months prior), she walked outside for her jog and spotted the shiny red love machine in the driveway with a big white bow and a huge sign that said “Happy Birthday, sweet girl!” In her state of unimaginable bliss, she promised her father the world, which, unfortunately, included taking her sister to run errands if she needed to go somewhere.

For Christmas, the little brat got a Wal-Mart gift card from creepy Uncle Dave out in California, so she was determined to buy a TV for her bedroom. Whatever… It’s her money. She got out of taking her little sister the day after Christmas, but tonight, she had no choice.

She’s standing in the electronics section patiently waiting on the little slut to make a decision on her TV when she notices a creepy, middle aged white man standing by a DVD display pretending to be looking for a movie. “Is that ‘High School Musical 2’ he’s got in his hands?” A couple of times she catches him staring and then darting his eyes away as soon as she looks in his general direction. She turned to ask her sister if she also noticed this freak of nature, but when she looked back, he was gone.

She stood there for a few minutes trying to get the image out of her mind, and she’s feeling a little frightened. As soon as the TV was loaded in a cart and paid for, she was ready to get to the car and get out of there. But of course, her sister had to pee before they left.


Her heart races the moment she notices the strange old man come up behind her as they walk out of the store. She deliberately lets him walk in front of her so she didn’t have to experience the awkwardness of knowing he would be checking out her ass. She tells him about her sister wanting to buy the TV with her gift card because he’s right there, so she might as well be polite. As soon as the candy red Beetle is in site, the sisters load the TV and take off only to see the man one more brief moment walking towards an older mini-van on the complete opposite side of the parking lot.

She thinks to herself, “I gotta get out of this town!”

Mini Van

One thought on “Nice, Firm Body

  1. Pingback: Another Late Monday Review | The Buttershoot Blogger

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