Monday Review – NYE

Good evening, my friends, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! I assume a lot of you are preparing for hot night out on the town right about now. I’m sure it’s going to be EPIC for some of you! Me? Well I’m going to sit here at this dining room table eating Cocoa Pebbles and prepare another brilliant post for you, because that’s what I do. I’ve come to enjoy these Monday night posts, and I hope you do to.

Because I love you, I have a treat for you this evening. Since WordPress tells me I’m getting a hint of exposure in Canada, I thought I’d spend some time there and see what kind of freaks are posting ads in the personals section. I can only assume that if they like this blog, there must be something wild going on up there. Guess what? I was so right! More on that later.

First let’s talk about what happened this week because you care.

  • Masculine Hunk of a Man – I utilized a different style of writing and put together a post that tells the story of an encounter between a man and a woman from two very different angles. I’m working on more of these to be published in the near future.
  • Spreading your wings – This guy tried to be creative by comparing his potential mate to a bird, but he failed miserably. I didn’t feel I needed to elaborate any more than I did. Apparently you like the shorter posts so I’ll work on publishing more for you.
  • Don’t know much about it – This ad seems terribly suspicious. How are you going to attempt to sell something technical like a computer and not provide ANY information on it at all? I wrote this up in my “101 questions” style, but on a much smaller scale. I think it turned out well.

As always, make sure to visit the FB fan page for funny pics, blog updates, and other useless crap. You never know what you might find.

A special thanks to my crazy, pussy pops eating neighbor on the second floor for his assistance with the new banner you see above. This was a result of a late night experiment with a cardboard box and a dirty parking lot. What do you think?

If you’ll turn your attention to the right, you’ll notice a text box in the menu area that says “Follow”. That means you. Click to subscribe to this ridiculous blog and receive emails the second a new blog is posted. Do it.

Should we talk about Canada now? You’re not going to believe the ads I found…


Nude Guy Ad

I don’t speak French, but my buddy, Dr. Google, does. It really doesn’t matter what this ad is asking for because my answer is “NO”, but let’s hear it anyway:

Are you single and nudist tonight?

Male, 55 years, smoking, nudist 24/7, looking for other nudist friends and have a good time.

Discrimination, man or woman, regardless of your looks or your age.

If you want to spend a few hours in the pleasure of nudity and listen to the Bye-Bye with me, I welcome you with a bottle.

OK so maybe Dr Google isn’t what you would consider “fluent” in the language, but you get the general Idea. Anybody interested in hanging out with this guy while listening to Bye-Bye?


Kennel

Is this guy serious? I can’t figure out if his use of the word “dog” is meant literally or figuratively. Does he really have the desire to live in a kennel next to an actual German Sheppard? He’s a grown ass man! WTF! I have a pretty wild imagination, but this?? This takes the cake.


Diapers

Seriously, where do you guys come up with this shit?? “Doing my schoolwork while wearing a soggy Pull-up”? I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I know what it’s like to sit in a dirty diaper for a long period of time, but I gotta think that feels disgusting! Wouldn’t that get all itchy and uncomfortable? I would definitely want to be changed right away!


Dating Your Wife

The fuck? NO! Someone please explain to me like a four year old who would actually agree to something like this? What man in his right mind is going to voluntarily allow another man to come into his house and make him sleep on the floor? Please tell me this isn’t normal behavior in Canada.


Ellectro Shock

I asked Dr Google to translate this ad for me as well and his response was “I’m not touching that one you sick fuck.” I don’t think you can fully appreciate this photo until you see it enlarged. Let me do that for you…

Electro

You’re welcome.

This looks eerily similar to the time I underwent a sleep study from a guy who claimed to be a Dr. I’m starting to wonder about that experience now, and I feel violated.  This explains a lot.

Talk to you soon, my loyal followers. Happy New Year!

antidepressants

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