Interesting request and very specific. I like the way you think! I’m not sure Craigslist is the best avenue you should go down in an attempt to find a man to service your needs, but I’m with you… What’s better than a stranger in your bed? I mean yea, it’s pretty slutty on your part, and of course your chances of getting sexually assaulted just went through the roof by writing this ad, but you know what? Fuck it. I’m in.
Shoot me over your address as soon as possible and let me know how you wanna play this out. If I need to pull the UPS uniform out of the closet, I can certainly do that… It’s totally up to you. It’s your fantasy. I also have a 1977 Burt Reynolds fake mustache somewhere around here if you’re into that sort of thing. I know you said you were looking for a hard working man, but a little cops and robbers action sometimes goes a long way. I think it may be at my storage unit so I’ll need to make a quick stop before I head out. Oh speaking of goodies in my storage unit, I just picked up an awesome Women’s Mr. Potato Head watch if you really wanna get kinky! You mentioned that you’re sporty, so I can only assume you are able to contort your body in a number of different positions. We’ll give it a whirl, but if you’re not that flexible, it’s fine. Since this will be our first encounter, we can just stick to the basics.
I don’t have any plans tomorrow afternoon after I see my psychiatrist, so I can just cruise on over at that time. Let me know if you plan to leave the door open for me to just walk right in and take full advantage of you, or if you want to formally sit down and chit chat and maybe get to know each other and shit. I’m good either way, but I figure why waste time with irrelevant information like our names or criminal background experiences. I really don’t care if you don’t.
Also… I feel I must warn you that I’ve got this unusual rash sprouting in the general area around my balls and sometimes it hurts when I piss. I hope that’s ok. I just don’t want you to freak out when I pull out my private eye and you observe something only a Dr. is used to seeing. Learn from my mistake, Ms. Single and independent… Never wear used panties unless you know for a fact they came from a clean woman.
Well it’s getting pretty late and I need to get to bed. Let me know if you wanna go forward with this 70’s themed cops and robbers fantasy session. I’ll have the CHiP’s theme song playing on my iPhone when I walk into the house and my brown shorts will be skin tight just like you like it. Talk to you soon, you little hussy!
One more thing… I have a buddy who’s studying film at the local community college and he’s probably going to want to tag along with his new Sony Action Cam. Is it cool if he documents a small portion of our afternoon rendezvous? Unless you agree to it, he won’t be participating in any way, but he may be playing pork sword in the corner while we’re taking turns patting each other down. It’s all in fun, though. You’ll see. Attached is a picture of the two of us at a swingers resort on the lake last summer. I think you’ll be pleased with the service he and I can provide.