Things to Trade

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You, my friend, are one bizarre individual and I think I like you already. As luck would have it, I do not have any car audio or T-Mobile phones to trade, but we really need to work something out. More than anything, I just wanna shake your hand, you fanciful fuck. I have no idea what I’m looking at in this first picture, but I know I want one! I haven’t been this excited over a sex contraption since the full throttle deluxe came out with the longer battery life.

By any chance, would there happen to be a YouTube video floating around where you and your girlfriend demonstrate the machine’s proper pulling techniques? I mean you already have the webcam, so I assume there’s some sort of evidence out there documenting its function. If not, would you mind filming a short 30 minute flick? Nothing fancy, just a general display of its use while providing tips for enhanced pleasure and maximizing safety for all involved. We’ll shoot it in black & white and include a little 70’s jazz to set the tone of the overall environment. If you’d like, we can even utilize my storage unit and include props from my days as a ranch hand that summer I spent in the Montana Mountains. Don’t worry, we’ll make it tasteful. I already have the design of the set pictured in my head. When I get off work tomorrow afternoon I’ll go to my storage unit and start setting things up. How big is this thing?

I’d like to meet up with you soon and get this deal going. I don’t know, exactly, what you might be interested in trading for this monster device, but I’m sure I have something in my bag of tricks that will work for you. If I know you, Christian Grey in the flesh, it has to be something extraordinary to captivate your attention. I’ll look around when I’m at my storage unit tomorrow, but I’m not sure if anything I have can top a women’s Mr. Potato Head watch, you crazy cuckhold. I’ll put some thought into it and get back to you. I did just pick up full bag of panties from a guy who may or may not be a klepto with a sick thong fetish if you’re interested. There might be something in there you could use to go with your cowboy collection. I don’t know; we’ll talk.

I’ve got to get going; my girlfriend is freaking out about an unusual purchase on her Visa form a sex shop in Sweden that I need to justify. I’d bet diamonds to dildos you know exactly what shop I’m referring to, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you know the owner! Alright Mr. Grey, I’ll talk to you soon. Be thinking about wardrobe for the film.

Oh, and do you happen to have leather chaps to go with the women’s cowboy boots?

One thought on “Things to Trade

  1. Pingback: The Buttershoot Blogger

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