First, let me just say, great post! I admire the fact that you know exactly what you want and are not afraid to put it out there and see if you can find it. Clearly, you’ve put a lot of thought into this. I just have one really good question…
Who the fuck do you think you are?
While I have no doubt that you are cute, clean, and honestly attractive, the fact of the matter here is that you’re looking for a man on Craigslist of all places. You’ve inched the bar so low that you’re now scraping the bottom of the ocean.
Let’s take a quick moment to refer to our good friends over at Urban Dictionary and ask them what they think about Craigslist.
Sounds like a winner to me! In this place, you’re seriously looking for a man who’s:
- Well endowed
- Knows how to satisfy a woman
I think that about covers it, right? And on top of all that he must love to cuddle, take you out on date nights, be a great conversationalist, AND play no games. Denzel Washington over here better not even think about texting you either. This mutha fucka better be serious and ready to meet and greet in person. My favorite part is the end when you firmly stipulate that DW better attach a pic with his reply or he’s just totally out of the running. You must be the cat’s fucking meow to be that ballsy. Your falcon crest better be as fresh as a plate of warm, buttery biscuits at that Waffle House down the street from where you claim to live to make those kinds of demands. Somehow I doubt that’s the case unless you walk around with a fresh bottle of Summer’s Eve everywhere you go.
So let’s be real here. The cat you’re looking for is most likely not lurking the personals section of the Austin CL, and I’m not even sure he actually exists. Even if he did, are you going to be his first choice, considering you’re looking for a hook up on a site whose name goes hand in hand with the word “killer”? Why don’t we turn this shit down a notch and consider more reasonable expectations for what you’ll qualify for. What you want and what you’re gonna get are two entirely different things, my friend.
Here’s a much more realistic list of requirements you should set your eyes on so you won’t be totally disappointed in the type of men who will contact you.
- Not a flat slob
- Not a felon
- Genuinely interested in getting you off before he nuts
Now we’re talking.
Good luck in your quest to find what every woman alive is searching for. I’m sure CL is the place to find him.